Comfort in uncertainty
by SomewhereAtTheBottom
Summary: This is going to be a long story, following Jades conflicted heart and the tough decisions she's going to have to make. WILL be Jori.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one.

I couldn't just turn around and go back, not after what had happened, not after what I had done. My mind raced as my feet paced down the slick wet cement and I barely even noticed the rain pouring down and camouflaging the tears running down my face as I screamed out in frustration, "Fuck!" my pointless cry was heard by no one as it echoed into the night sky. I'm a mess right now, then again when was I ever not a mess. I can't believe I had let it get to this, damn what I would do for a pair scissors right now. I nearly crashed down to the ground unable to keep running and pounded my fist into the cement, wincing at the pain that instantly coursed through my hand. It wasn't that big of a deal, after all I've done I deserved it. I burried my face in hands, and not even a minute later I heard a sad yet light hearted joking voice break through the storm "You've really made a mess of things again haven't you, Jade West?" As soon as I glanced up I wanted to cry even harder, but at the same time smile at the very source of my pain.

Thinking back, maybe this wasn't all completely my fault, in fact, I never asked for any of this. All I ever did was mind my own buisness and keep to myself, sometimes even with Beck. No, this couldn't possibly be my fault.

BEFORE,

I sighed as Vega made a yet another stupid joke at the lunch table, shaking my head at all of my idiotic friends for laughing so full heartedly at everything the damn girl says, even my own seemingly perfect boyfriend, who clearly had his flaws; like laughing at stupid jokes. I pulled him by his hand that was already laced with mine from the table to walk with me to throw away my trash. He never really complained, and I was starting to wonder if I even liked that or not. After dumping my empty food containers in the trash can, he instantly flashed me one of his infamous smirks and whisked me in for a kiss, I could tell he was trying to be passionate, I knew him so well, there wasn't a kiss he could give me that would catch me off guard and as I began to think about that a little harder I realized I had forgotten he was even kissing me at all. As he pulled away he showed no signs of even noticing so I just gave him a soft smile as he told me he had to run to his locker before class. As he walked off I was turning around to do the same until I was stopped by my name. "Jade! wait up." I turned around and sighed "Yes, Vega?" she gave me a sympathetic smile "Are you and Beck alright?" I shot her a pissed off puzzled look "Why the hell wouldn't we be!?" I could see I intimidated her just by the way took a step back. I mean what was her problem anyway, asking something like that. She spoke up again, "Well, its just, I saw how you looked almost pissed off when he kissed you. " "First off pervert, if you want a show go watch porn at home! Second, MIND YOUR OWN Business." I stormed off before I could give her a chance to respond. I know that was a little harsh, even coming from me, and a part of me wondered why I got so defensive, as if there were something wrong with Beck and I.

AUTHORS NOTE:

Alright so this was just the very beginning and simply a teaser. The only way I'll continue is if I get a few reviews. Criticism is welcome, and note that they might not all be in character as much you'd like, but if you don't like it then don't read. ) Suggestions are welcome as well.


	2. Chapter 2

OKAY, so thank you for the reviews and suggestions, I realized there were errors in my writing and that's a majority to blame on the fact I was using my cell phone to write. Not this time though, so HOPEFULLY it'll be better. Enjoy! :)

**Chapter two.**

What was with this girl? Even after blatantly bitching her out in front of everyone yesterday she had the audacity to come and sit right next to me!? I sighed, this was going to be a long class period. I didn't even give her the pleasure of knowing I noticed her, deciding against my usual glare and instead simply ignoring her. I was pulled from my thoughts as my boyfriend swung his arm around me from the other side taking his seat, I scooted closer to him. As class went on, I could have swore Vega's seat had actually moved closer to mine and that unnerved me to no end. I tapped my boots repeatedly against the ground just dying to get the hell out of this class room; I hated Tori even more lately and I don't even know what it is. Hearing my name being whispered with a giggle as class ended I shot my eyes over to Cat who had been chatting to Vega the whole time. No one, fucking no one speaks of my name if I'm not there. As class ended I shot up from my seat leaving Beck in the dust and pulled cat by the hand simply blurting out the word "Candy" for her compliance. "Ooh, what kind of candy Jade!?" I shook my head "Shh Cat, tell me what you know." She glanced at me puzzled, this pissed me off, she may fool everyone else around here but I know she's not just a dumb pile of bricks and knows something. "Damn it Cat, what was Tori saying about me?" Cat just pouted "Well...we were just talking about things like kissing girls.." I raised an eyebrow, wondering why anyone would just randomly be talking about that anyway, than again Vega and Cat were like five year olds."And?" My voice was almost a shout, and I could tell I kind of scared Cat. "And she said if she had to kiss a girl she would pick you." I smirked at this, of course I'm disgusted, but all the fun I could have picking on Vega was just priceless. "Alright. Later." I stepped away and turned my back to her, hearing her childlike plea's for candy continue, as much as I hated messing with Cat, I had bigger things to attend to.

Lunch rolled around and I found myself unable to eat anything, I sat there mindlessly while Beck and our friends talked about god knows what. "Jade?" I was nudged by Beck who had a concerned look on his face, I did love the boy but god damn he was such a baby. "What?" I ask coldly. Instead of a straight up verbal answer, I feel his warm breath to my ear as he leaned in to whisper "Whatever you're planning, stop." I simply let out a small laugh, more of a "ha!" he knew me alright, it was true, whenever I'm planning anything menacing I'm usually off into space, mind gone,with only body to accompany my friends. I've spent all day plotting my first move to fuck with Vega, and in fact that bell currently going off for the end of lunch is my cue. I waited for everyone including Vega to get up from the table first, and as soon as they hit the hallway and started going their separate ways I attacked. SLAM! The sound of me pushing Tori's locker closed from behind her made her jump and turn around to face me with a face of rage. "JADE, what the-" I quickly pressed my fingers to her lips "Please Vega, leave the angry expressions to me, you could hardly pull that off." I laughed at her mockingly, "Come." She started to question but without another word from my mouth I had drug her right into the Janitors closet, quickly holding my hand over her mouth before she could try and yell at me. I let go of her mouth eventually, and instead of speaking a just smirked at her to get under her skin. "What Jade? I need to get to class." "Oh do you? Tell me, learn anything new lately? 'Cause I sure have." I could tell by the look on her face that she had no idea what I was talking about, so I decided to push it a little further. I took a step closer to her, practically pressing my body against hers and hovered my lips dangerously close to hers. I could feel her tremble while her breathing picked up, oh this was too good. "Maybe I could teach you about it later." I whispered in the huskiest voice I could muster up. Without another word I was out of the door and from the looks of it I had left her almost paralyzed. Jade 1 Tori 0, I smirked to myself.

"mmph" I half moaned into the kiss as Becks hand glided ever so slowly up my shirt, he reached my right breast and I could feel his thumb lazily run across my nipple. "Damn it Beck" I pushed him against the wall, needing more than these soft touches. My hand landed right on the bulging part of his jeans, cupping it almost roughly earning a pleasant groan from him. I leaned slowly, about to kiss him but as soon as my lips even barely touched his...NO, I pulled back from him almost stumbling into the wall behind me. "Uh, Jade what's wrong?" I didn't answer him, I just grabbed my jacket and stormed out of his RV. On the drive home, I couldn't think, I didn't want to think. What the fuck is fucking wrong with me? I slammed my hand against the steering wheel as I pulled into my driveway. Now I'm just plain pissed off. Someone's got to pay for it. Quickly putting my car in reverse I backed out and sped to Tori Vegas house. Slamming my breaks and as well as my door behind me as I marched up to her front door. I could see no one was here, at least not her parents or Trina, so I banged on the door probably fifty times before she answered. She opened the door terrified but I didn't give a shit, I pushed her inside against the closest wall, cornering her so she'd have to listen. "I FUCKING THOUGHT OF YOU!" "What?" she looked confused. "I WAS GOING TO KISS BECK AND I THOUGHT OF YOU." "Um..." she shook her head confused, "Why is this my fault?" I glared at her "Because Vega, you idiot, you had to go telling Cat you wanted to kiss me." I'm so pissed off, how is it that I started out having all of the control, now its as if Vega is fucking with my mind with out even trying. Ugh. She let out a smug laugh "Maybe..it's because you want to kiss me." I gave her a disgusted look, what the hell was she thinking, I would never-I drew a quick breath as she tugged me forward by my shirt and I could feel her breath on my lips. "You don't want to kiss me?" She asked so innocently, I wanted to retort with something mean, rude, anything. I was speechless. I wanted to pull away but instantly her lips pressed into mine, god they are so soft. I didn't even realized that I started kissing her back, pulling her as close as possible I tugged at her bottom lip and I could have swore I heard a moan. I thought I was rough but she kissed me even harder, now forcing me against the wall and shoving her tongue into my mouth. This is what I was missing from Beck, that hunger, that want, he was always just so...gentle which was nice every now and then, but fuck I needed this. Wait, Beck. I pushed her off of me slurring words that may not have even existed while exiting her house. For once I feel like I'm not in control of anything at all.

**So, tell me, should I do the next chapter from Tori's point of view? I'm tempted. Also, don't lose hope. I will tie everything together very soon so you don't just assume this is all jumbled none sense that leads to nothing. I'm just big on leading my readers on. Don't hate me ;P**

**The next chapter will definitely be longer. Promise.**


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